


We spiral down as the flames climb higher

by Mullk6



Series: The recycling bin [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: 'cause I don't, Be Honest, Danzo Gets What's Coming To Him, Danzo conspiracy theory, Danzo is the ROOT of all problems, Dimension Travel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Manipulative Characters, Ouroboros are ninja, Ouroboros in Naruto, Ouroboros learned to adapt, Ouroboros troll Jiraiya, Self-Insert, Shinobi shenanigans, can anyone say they're surprised, can you tell I don't like Danzo, somebody stop me, they got a lot darker, well it's on a similar level as in my FMA one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21683623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mullk6/pseuds/Mullk6
Summary: They woke up in ruins and part of an almost extinct clan. Next came dealing with the knowledge and memories implanted into their brains by a half-failed half-functional seal.
Series: The recycling bin [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1457911
Comments: 195
Kudos: 627
Collections: A Collection of Beloved Inserts





	1. Spiral down and fade

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr for my fanfic rambles and my artwork for my fanfics: <https://mullk6fics.tumblr.com/>
> 
> Because some fucking people can't take into consideration the spirit of my last version, LET ME BE FUCKING LITERAL THEN
> 
> DO NOT beg/ask/demand updates of me. It won't help, in fact, it will make me not update for even fucking longer.  
> DO NOT ask ABOUT updates either. Doing so has the same fucking effect, me not updating.  
> Doing any one of these things ANYWAY will have the effect of me cussing you out, hating you and everything you stand for, and deleting your comment and any that follow.  
> DO NOT tell me I should be flattered by people essentially asking me to do unpaid slave labour for their own entertainment, with no regard to my own mental health.
> 
> I would appreciate it if my comment sections were kept to being a happy place. A stress-free zone. A place I can visit to gather energy in hopes that it will help me write.
> 
> If you don't know what else to say when the things above are said to be taboo, emoji hearts are a good way to do so. No one can misinterpret emoji hearts. The things above can be misinterpreted. Don't do them.  
> Another way is to comment "I can't wait to see what happens next!"
> 
> Honestly, please don't even mention people doing this, or the word Update. It stresses me the fuck out and I have enough issues without people reminding me of the bad stuff.
> 
> Please, for the love of god don't make my bad days worse and ruin my good days, few as they are.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no one to tell you how to conduct funerals correctly when you're the last one standing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, everyone is 10 or 9 going on 10, except Alexia who is 5

Ed blinked the afterimage of a pale-robed, horned old man out of her eyes and came face to face with the clear blue sky and seagulls flying overhead. She didn't notice the warmth radiating from underneath her until it and the light faded away, leaving her strangely bereft even with the massive headache left behind.

She then remembered she hadn't been alone before finding herself outside even though the anime con had been an _inside event_ , so she sat up to search for the others that had been with her and her sister.

That was when she noticed she'd shrunk.

They all had.

Something in her mind screamed ten years old while looking at her hands, even though only minutes ago she had been seventeen. Her clothes were also too big for her now, as were everyone else's.

”Where tha _hell_ are we?” came the grumpy question from a boy not too far from her, the speech-pattern was familiar, but his looks were not.

Looking around, Ed spotted the other four in various states of confusion, all looking off. When a lock of hair slid down in front of her face, she realized she was in the same position as everyone else.

Every single one of them had red hair. Strongly red. Like, really strongly red. She had a bad feeling about what had happened to them. Especially when taking into account just what the hell they were laying on.

A seal. A big, complicated seal that, for some reason, she could actually decipher somewhat. 

“Uh... we might, and I may be wrong here... but we _might_ have ended up in Naruto.” a boy with curly hair piped up, fiddling with his glasses.

A sigh from behind her made the former brunette twitch “Yeah, I thought so too.” a high-pitched voice agreed forlornly.

With some dread, Edwina turned around and came face-to-face with a five-year-old. That dread turned to horror as she realized _her little sister was five years old_ and they were stuck in a world where they could all die for crossing paths with the wrong person.

Not to mention there might be a war going on as they spoke.

Suffice to say, it took them a while to come to terms with the fact that they were in an _anime_ , nevermind the small crisis they had when they realized when and where they were. Looking at the bloodied and scorched ruins around them had already filled them with dread, but coming across the somewhat fresh bodies of Uzushio shinobi had been... well, it wouldn't have affected them quite as much if the seal matrix they'd been hijacked into hadn't turned them into Uzumakis.

The seal wasn't really supposed to do anything other than record knowledge, but something had evidently gone wrong with it, even if it had done most of its function in downloading all that knowledge into their brains. None of them had any idea why on earth it had de-aged them, or _why it had even summoned them in the first place_.

Much of their time after waking up had just been burying people, and after they figured out a few fire jutsus, cremating them. They collected every fallen shinobi's Hitai-ate and raided the archives. They found every single name of their fallen soldiers and they carved them in stone. It took a solid month-and-a-half to carve the names. They had to construct a new memorial stone before they even started. A green crystal slab in the shape of a flame with the Uzushio symbol in a darker shade in the middle was what they agreed upon and made with the help of Earth Chakra manipulation and some seal-work. They carved the names on both sides and filled the characters with the blackest of inks available to them.

They'd sat down in front of the thing for a while afterward. The foot of the memorial was blank and every single one of them stared at it morosely.

“Aren't you supposed to carve something philosophical on memorials?” Lisa asked, hugging her knees to her chest, eyes as dull as her voice.

No one disagreed. But what are you supposed to even write on a memorial?

Jonas chuckled darkly “Yeah, there's probably a right way to do this, but who's gonna tell us what the right way is? We're the last ones of this village, aren't we? Does anyone's opinion count except ours?”

Another good point. But still, they couldn't really come up with anything fitting. It wasn't until one-by-one, they started singing. Singing at funerals wasn't a thing you did in Japan, they didn't think, or Naruto which was heavily based on Japan, but they weren't Japanese. As such, they followed their own tradition, even if none of the songs they sang were ones you'd usually sing at a funeral. They were still fitting.

After the fact, when Konoha finally sent people to handle the tragedy the attack on Uzushio had left behind, they'd find the empty streets, the emptier houses, archives and libraries, and the new Memorial Stone with what looked like every active Uzu-nin's name carved into it, along with the recently dried ink in the carved words below them.

“ _~Death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes and we keep living anyway.~_  
_~We rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes, and if there's a reason we're still alive when so many have died, then we'll have to stand up and walk forward.~_  
_~We've got two perfectly good legs to stand on.~_  
_~We move on, and learn to live with the unimaginable.~_ ”

It would be a long time before anyone would confront them about what they'd carved in stone in Uzushio.


	2. Worthless, empty, searching, hatred, who am I right now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The years go by and they grow... and they'll have to decide where they'll stand soon.

It had been... many years since that day. It was difficult to keep count while on the road, but they knew they hadn't aged normally. They had learned to hide their background quickly after the first hunters that had nearly taken their lives. It had also been the day some of them had unleashed the Uzumaki Kekkei Genkai... the chakra chains.

It was... the only reason they had escaped with their lives.

They'd poured over seals in order to create disguises that wouldn't falter when they were worn. Over the years, as they became more adept at the art, whether it was decoding, designing, or actually drawing them, they created disguising seals etched on inconspicuous accessories that no one would notice unless they knew seals and looked _really_ closely. So far, such a thing hadn't occurred.

Then again, they hadn't been in Konoha more than once after the incident and... that had been a long time after the incident. Not too long after the Kyuubi incident, in fact. 

That had been... a shock, to put it lightly. But at least they had some idea of when they were. It wasn't like there was an official timeline, so showing up right after Uzushio's destruction told them jack shit of when in the timeline they were. It also meant they'd have to decide, soon.

Decide whether or not they would stay in Konoha... more permanently. If they did, they'd have to agree on a solid backstory. For either identities. Their fake non-Uzumaki ones... and their fake Uzumaki ones.

Because they were fake, both of them. Just on different levels.

It was easy enough to roam the Shinobi world with everything they owned packed away into storage scrolls, which themselves were packed into storage scrolls. It had been a pain to find anything at first, before they came up with a good “filing system”.

It probably wouldn't be too hard to get settled in Konoha, all things considered. They had amassed a bit of a reputation as a successful entertainment troupe, even if no one had really understood their name. That was fine. It wasn't for the general public to understand. Only the seven of them needed to understand what Ouroboros stood for.

It wasn't even that it had a special meaning, it was a _reference_. But no one would realize that. It was an inside joke, the one thing that linked all of them together.

And ironically... it linked them to their current genetics too. The Uzushio symbol, the Uzumaki clan symbol... it was all about going in circles. Rebirth. All that stuff.

They all they knew they were biased... for more than one reason. Yes, they had knowledge about canon. But... the seal had crammed a lot of memories into their heads. They didn't receive the same ones, which was both a good and bad thing, all of the memories being downloaded into their brains would probably have broken their brains. But that also meant they couldn't be certain if everyone was aware of something they knew due to the randomness of the fact. Some things they all had, others were personal.

The memories she had received had been helpful in emptying out even the most secret places of the island. Nothing was left behind to be plundered once the whirlpools surrounding the island slowed down enough for people to return. The enemy forces must've retreated quickly so as to not be stuck on the island for a few months.

They had to leave their names behind when they left. Or, well, not exactly behind, but...

Rarely did they speak them out loud in villages or towns. If there were shinobi around, then not even a peep.

New names were the hardest part, last names were easier. Lisa and Jonas, due to all of their disguises of looking like they had before, well, before Uzu, were claiming to be cousins by the names of Yagami Jonouchi and Yagami Rina.

Leo became Gokudera Ryuu.

Marcus became Kobayashi Maru. Everyone, _everyone_ had looked at him with exasperation. His cackles had rung through the air for a while before he'd calmed down. Well, it _had_ been funny. Still was.

Jim's choice wasn't much better, really, what with him becoming Himura Kenji.

Edwina and Alexia had more trouble than the others. But, ultimately, they'd settled on Kazama as a last name, mostly out of humor because of the urban legend that Namikaze Minato's original name was supposed to be Kazama Arashi. As for first names, Ed became Etsuko, or “Etsu” for short. Alexia became Akari, or “Ari”.

They began using these names in private so that they would grow used to answering to them. And then they created fake papers using these fake names. They had two sets, each of them, ones with Uzumaki as all of their surnames, and ones with the individual surnames. Thankfully the borrowed memories let them be able to create such things. 

It was easy enough to travel between countries, even if it was a long wait in some places as their papers were checked over. But it was only that easy due to legal papers. If they didn't have any...

Well, they'd have been _so_ fucked.

Ed sighed, looking outside in the cheap hotel they were staying at for the moment. It was late, but she'd been unable to sleep due to her head being full of things she needed to bring up with the others.

It was probably about time they stopped running away.

But that didn't mean they'd make it easy for Konoha. They had enough Uzumaki in them to feel slighted, even if it wasn't _all_ the Hokage's fault.

But... as Clan Head, she had enough reason to keep her cards close.


	3. Surprise, mother-fu-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Onwards to Konoha- except...  
> They need a rescue mission first.  
> Good thing Kakashi is on the case. Unfortunately he has to put up with Gai during the mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edwina = Kazama Etsuko  
> Alexia = Kazama Akari  
> Lisa = Yagami Rina  
> Jonas = Yagami Jonouchi  
> Leo = Gokudera Ryuu  
> Marcus = Kobayashi Maru  
> Jim = Himura Kenji

Kakashi sighed, internally, not wanting to give Gai any reason to open his mouth at the moment, at the mission he'd been forced to go on. Perhaps he shouldn't have been 5 hours late to the last meeting...

Well, whatever.

Still, why'd he have to be put together with Gai on an escort mission?

Not to mention the wording of the mission. He hated when contractors got clever, they usually had an ego to match the wording. Or, even worse, had hired someone to do the wording for them, which meant some snobby, idiotic businessman. Urgh.

Note to self, only be an hour late in the future. At least to anything involving the Hokage.

Only, what they found at the agreed pick-up spot wasn't an impatient snob and their entourage. It was a small town that had obviously been recently raided. Kakashi narrowed his eyes. It may just be that their client wasn't a snob with money to hire a lawyer. It was someone with enough pessimism or bad luck to warrant the extra measures put into the mission request.

This may actually be a B turned A-rank after all, as the contingency had stated.

Well. This was... a surprise.

The buildings closest to the edges were in disrepair and fires were still being put out. In the middle of the town was a gathering of wounded being treated. There was a sudden scramble when a rather large blond man came carrying a woman in a rather strange way. As a wide white cloth was unraveled and the woman placed on it, Kakashi realized why.

Her back was sliced open, the blood soaking through her shirt, sliced in two diagonally from her left shoulder to her right hip. It was pretty bad even by shinobi standards and for a civilian? Well... it would be traumatizing.

A man with dull, curly red hair was by her side in a heartbeat, hands hovering over her prone form. As the two shinobi got closer, they could hear them speaking “Oh god, Etsu- I- I don't have anything to numb you with- but it needs _stitches_ -”

The woman clenched her visible fist in the cloth as she breathed raggedly “Just- get _on_ with it-” another ragged breath “As. Fast. As. You. _Can_.” she grit out.

A black-haired man skid to a halt near the two Konoha Nin “Ah, crap. They got Akari, didn't they?”

Kakashi shot a sharp glance to the speaker at that, coming to the realization that those stipulations were about to become all too probable of a problem by the minute. 

_Get all seven of the company alive to Konoha._

The most important part of the mission according to the employer, one Kazama Etsuko, the Owner and Leader of the Ouroboros Entertainment Company.

Why do so many of his missions go up in rank unexpectedly? He's getting rather tired of it. At least this mission's scroll mentioned the possibility.

No matter, apparently the doctor had already disinfected the wound and was now doing rather impressive needlework on the gash. Quick too. And the woman wasn't even screaming. Though she seemed to be crushing the large blond's hand with her own if the twitch of the man's face meant anything. Once the ginger doctor was done, it became obvious that the blond's hand was going to bruise at the very least.

That was a damn strong grip the woman had.

In no time at all, the doctor had finished and was wiping his hands in a now red-stained cloth “Done, and all in one go too, like a boss.”

The woman rolled her eyes as she let go of her other associate “Which way did they go?” she asked as she started to push herself off the ground.

The red-head whipped around “You are _not_ going after them! You'll pull your stitches!”

“Watch me!”

That was the wrong thing to say, as the doctor grabbed the back of her neck and pushed her back down with surprising gentleness. The woman huffed into the cloth her face was now pressed into, but didn't get up after the man let go.

Damn. The man could probably handle Shinobi during forced bed-rest if this was any indicator.

But, anyway...

“Yo!” Kakashi called, hand coming up in an imitation of a wave. He immediately gathered the attention of everyone nearby.

The newly stitched-up woman lifted her head enough to peer at them “Oh, good, someone tell _them_ where the bandits went so that they can do their job.”

That was a rather lackluster reaction...

No matter, Kakashi mused as he smiled with his visible eye “Bandit attack, I'm assuming? How many captured?”

The black-haired swordsman was the one to answer “One of ours and at least five villagers. All female.”

Well, the man was more samurai-esque than Kakashi'd first suspected. He wondered if he was the troupe's bodyguard.

The silver-haired Jounin looked up at the sound of footsteps on roof-tile, which wasn't something you often heard unless there were Genin around, and came face-to-face with a blond woman jumping from roof-to-roof in a very not-ninja way, but it was faster than normal travel at least. These people were getting more and more interesting by the minute. A quick calculation told him the woman had come from the forest and had probably been tracking the bandits, but had come for reinforcements.

“Found 'em. Oh?” the woman spoke before noticing the two Konoha Shinobi, blinking at the sight of them.

The wounded woman stuck her hand out and gave her a thumbs up “Nice work, Rina. You can show the Konoha duo the way. Kenji will go with you, too, since it looks like only one of them would be good at stealth.”

That was- actually pretty accurate, Gai wasn't the sneaky type and Kakashi had been a very _good_ ANBU. Though the woman was most likely going by looks alone and Gai-

Well, his mere presence was loud.

But he didn't know if he wanted a civilian as backup...

The swordsman nodded, before looking at the two “There were twenty, maybe twenty-five hostiles that attacked, not sure if there will be more at their camp. Rina will guide everyone away as soon as they're freed, so we won't have to worry about them at least. If we cause enough of a ruckus, the idiots won't even notice they're gone.”

Ok, he took it back, that was actually better than he was expecting.

Well, it looked like they had a rescue mission to start this escort mission with.

Kakashi hated his luck.


	4. Hidden meanings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi and Gai get a taste of Ouroboros shenanigans. Kakashi realizes pop-culture can be an effective code if need be.

Civilian running looked weird. Kakashi would never say these thoughts out loud, but with two civilians running beside, well, _below_ , him and Gai, it was more apparent than ever. The two Shinobi had taken to the trees while the blond and ravenette ran through the foliage. They were really fast for civilians, especially with the forest getting in the way of running in a straight line. In fact, Kakashi was sure they could keep up with your average Genin if they had to.

The duo dropped to the ground when the blond crouched down, her colleague doing the same. They were close to the camp now, probably. The scent of sweat, blood and cinders in the wind only confirmed his suspicions. They crept forward silently, or, mostly at least, the civilians didn't know how to be completely silent like a Shinobi after all, towards the clearing where the camp was set up.

It was obvious the bandits weren't expecting an attack any time soon. Kakashi really hated opponents as pathetic as this, no challenge at all in dispatch. A quick scan told him where the villagers were stashed, but he couldn't be sure that they hadn't been split up.

“I saw most of them being led into the storage-tent,” the blond whispered, pointing towards the tent Kakashi had determined held most if not all the villagers “But the leader got his eye on Akari and they put her in his tent. I don't like the way he was looking at her.”

Of course.

Well, at least it looked like the outlaws were too busy partying to be doing anything unsavory yet. Kakashi cracked his neck “Alright. I'll go release the hostages, you,” he indicated the woman “stay here, or actually, go over there where the bandits can't see you but I can direct everyone, and you,” he pointed at Gai and the maybe-samurai “cause a commotion _only_ if they're heading for the tents. If I get done before it's needed, then we'll attack together.”

Gai gave an enthusiastic thumbs up while Kenji nodded, grasping his sword and getting into a position from where he could spring into action in a heartbeat. Plan set, Kakashi snuck around to the back of the tents, Rina right behind him but staying in the tree-line and out of immediate sight while he got to work.

They did end up having to cause a commotion as Kakashi was getting the villagers out. It went well enough, until the leader dragged a woman out of his tent and used her as a shield.

“Drop your weapons or the bitch gets it!” the actually rather smelly man spit out, body tense and a knife at the woman's throat.

Kakashi saw the samurai tense, before an odd look flashed on his face. The ravenette scoffed as he started to sheathe his katana “Tsch, dirty rascal.”

The silverette had to admit that he almost didn't see what happened, it went so fast. As soon as the man had sheathed his blade the hostage bit down on the bandit's wrist and dropped down to the ground, letting the samurai dash forward and execute a quick-draw technique to _behead_ the bandit. The head rolled away, frozen in a look of shock.

Trying to rewind what had happened, Kakashi realized it had to have been pre-mediated somehow. Did the group have a set of code-phrases? Maybe. And the stance the man had taken- it was Battōjutsu. He himself knew some katas, but rarely used them anymore. His tanto wasn't part of his normal gear outside of ANBU missions. The body of the bandit keeled over just as Kakashi came to the realization of the Battōjutsu stance and the shinobi quickly dispatched the last of the bandits, Gai doing the same to the ones near him and the swordsman following suit. The hostage was laying on her back and out of the way. Once all hostiles were taken care of, she raised her arms up towards the sky and held her wrists as far apart as she could what with the rope encircling them.

Kenji sliced through the ropes in a flash, sheathing his weapon in a smooth motion before grabbing one of the still outstretched hands “You ok?”

The woman, most likely the missing Akari raised an eyebrow “Really? That was the best you could come up with?”

Kakashi blinked, confused.

The ravenette shrugged “Hey, it worked dinnit? Not like I could _say_ 'Get down' now could I? And it's a good song!” the man defended.

Ah. So it wasn't a code so much as a very niche reference. Smart. Confusing. Not likely to be understood by outsiders.

_It may as well be a code._

These people were getting more interesting the longer Kakashi observed them.

“Kenji-san! Your Flames of Youth are impressive!”

Aaaand Gai had to open his mouth. Great.

The woman, now very obviously the missing member of the troupe, eyed the green-clad shinobi “What the hell is wrong with him?”

Kenji's face had adopted a deadpan expression “I don't know. I don't want to know. Ignore him and maybe he'll shut up.”

Gai did not, in fact, shut up while they made their way back towards the ransacked village. At least it gave Kakashi more time to observe the trio and their interactions.

Akari was, quite obviously, the little darling of the group. The baby of the group, too, if he was reading things correctly. Kenji was more than just a hired bodyguard, they all had a good, solid relationship with each other. Rina's attitude was a hollow echo of another sunshine blond currently running around Konoha, but Kakashi didn't want to think about that. Point was, she was energetic and active. Fast too, what with her long legs, perfect for running.

In a rare lull in Gai's gushing, Kakashi piped up “So, what was that phrase?”

He was curious, sue him.

The samurai blinked at him before smirking “Ah.”

The trio exchanged glances before the blonde started making noises, [forming a beat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5xv7fyRFyI) with her mouth as the instrument while Akari cleared her throat, waited, then started singing at the correct moment “'Cause I'm the Queen of the ca~stle, get down you di~rty ra~ascal, _**get down**_.”

The last Hatake valiantly resisted the urge to facepalm. Oh. Now he understood her reaction. At least her voice made it less annoying.

“It's a good song!” the ravenette squawked, somehow sensing Kakashi's disdain.

“I'm sure.” the silverette said quite insincerely, smiling with his visible eye.

The man squinted at him, obviously not knowing if he was truthful or not. Heh.

Oh well, soon they could be on their way towards Konoha, hopefully _without_ any more incidents.

Etsuko was positively thrilled when she spotted them. So thrilled, in fact, that she was apparently able to avoid the red-haired doctor and lunge up to catch her sister in a bearhug, pointedly ignoring the redhead's screeching about her pulling her stitches.

Yeah, she was going to regret that, Kakashi could tell. Either due to the pain or due to the doctor's irritation, he couldn't be completely sure.

“ _Never_ do that again, Ari. Do you hear me? I can't take it.” the older woman muttered into the other brunette's hair, Kakashi only picking up the words due to his keener-than-normal senses.

“Sorry, neechan.” was the faint reply.

Well, that certainly explained a lot. Not that it was a surprise, Kakashi had already been certain of their relation as soon as he'd gotten a good look at her face. The resemblance was quite uncanny.

“You're all I have.”

Kakashi turned even more away, not wanting to get hives from the emotions going on. He didn't really care about them, but the implications of that statement made him grind his teeth.

Just how young had they been when they were orphaned, he wondered.

Well, whatever. It didn't concern him. His job was to get them to their final destination alive and mostly unharmed. That was going well enough, since the only injuries that had happened after their arrival were Akari's rope-burns, which were easy enough to treat and couldn't be blamed on them.

He wondered if he could get them to hurry it up without sounding rude...

Better not.


	5. Onwards to Konoha!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At last, they are off! Now all the Ouroboros have to worry about is slipping up in front of the two Konoha Shinobi. Truly, a test of their acting abilities.

Something about the visual of Akari's bandaged wrists was jarring. For the Ouroboros, that is. Kakashi wasn't nearly as bothered, injuries happen all the time. But it was obvious to see that this specific injury in that specific place was disturbing to them. Had she been abducted before? It wouldn't be surprising, the silverette mused, but didn't bother to think about it further.

They'd also found out that the large blond man had skills in basic chakra manipulation, what with being able to operate storage scrolls. Kakashi wasn't a sensor, but even he could tell the man's coils weren't good for much else except pulsing, which was all that was needed to seal away things and take them out again. That, and visualizing what exactly you wanted _out_ of the scroll, of course. You could also just pulse until everything it contained was spit out, but that was inefficient. Rarely, if ever, could a mere civilian do that. Then again, it wasn't too out there that some people knew how to pull on their chakra, all it took was one person teaching another, who would then pass it on. It wasn't that strange. He wouldn't be surprised if the blond, Jonouchi he believed, could use some minor illusions in their shows. Big theaters usually had more than one chakra-capable stage-hand, but in a small troupe like this? Kazama must've poached him from somewhere.

There had been a large number of storage scrolls, which were then packed into bigger storage scrolls. Well-made ones, from the look of them, since they were surprisingly small. A credit to whoever had crafted them, though probably bought from a second-hand shop, since you couldn't really get things like those from the source as a civilian. And you certainly wouldn't flail them in front of shinobi if you had stolen them, not that he thought they had the capability for that.

Those scrolls had then been packed into the wagon with their logo painted on the side. Why a dragon circling a star, he had no idea, but it was certainly memorable. Said wagon also had a metal frame going over it to which a tarp could be secured, but was for now bare with all seven sitting inside, with two of them in the driver's seat behind the two horses. The two Konoha shinobi had been offered seats the moment they felt like not walking beside the transportation, but so far they'd opted to walk. It had become obvious fairly quickly that the group was hardly silent during their journeys. There had been games, songs and what he was told were “Quote-offs”. Not to mention the recitals of entire scenes from plays from memory. He was starting to see why they had a reputation and were much sought after. From what he could remember, even the Grand Theater in the Capital had tried to get them to stay as a permanent part of the staff. It was not to be. Or at least so rumours said. Kakashi wasn't really all that up to date on the latest gossip, but he often heard snippets from the other Jonin, especially those who were more inclined towards the arts.

They had been stuck in a longer bit of silence when the blond woman had [started humming](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfJ7xa4TyFY&list=PLoRMcp797qeuU34kf87GKTk_OMLdgYvXZ&index=6). It was mostly obscured by the sound of hooves, but Kakashi noticed when Akari straightened up, eyes flitting to her colleague.

“Rina _no_.” was her dismayed whine.

“Rina _yes_.” was the immediate response.

Once again, he was missing something. They might as well be speaking in code. Except not even speaking this time. Musical codes, who would have even thought about it?

“Just because he's wearing a _mask_ -” Akari hissed at the older woman.

Ah, something about him then.

“But that's why it's _funny_.” the blond laughed, carefree.

Kenji was the one to pipe up next “Ok, first of all, wrong kind of mask, second of all, that's _my_ role.”

Obviously a reference to a play or a song or, what was it, a musical of some sort. Sigh. But damn if he wasn't curious...

“So,” he chirped “what's this about my mask?”

Akari turned to face him “Sorry, Hatake-san, Rina is referencing a character whom you _do not resemble in any way_ and to insinuate it is kind of _rude_.” the woman stressed very pointedly in the direction of the blond.

Yeah, Kakashi had gathered that much at least “A character with a mask?” he continued to inquire, brow raised for emphasis.

[Kenji raised his hand to cover the right side of his face](https://66.media.tumblr.com/2dcb22a21e660ff911f90f388916764e/a25c5f2ba06d63b3-8e/s640x960/01298f75722ce0f809c8425d8f12a169e72c2846.jpg), but not his eye, most likely to demonstrate where the mask of said character would be. Yes, that _would be_ quite different from Kakashi himself since the right side of his face was _the only thing visible_. Rina must've been really bored to draw the comparison.

Etsuko rolled her eyes, and neck, as she sung “The Pha~ntom of the Opera is the~re...” she pointedly stared at Rina “inside her mi~nd...”

Kakashi's other brow joined the first one, unseen under his slanted Hitai-ate “Well, that sounds sinister.”

“He is.” Kenji quipped from his perch.

Rina sighed “Haa-a... maybe we can finally perform it again, this time without an almost hostage situation.”

Gai perked up at that “What does that mean?”

Yeah, Kakashi wanted to know that too.

Etsuko looked pained, raising a hand to her forehead “Oh god, that was horrible. I assume you know the Grand Daimyo Theater in the Hi no Kuni Capital?”

Ah, suddenly, Kakashi had an inclination as to where this was going.

Gai's energetic nodding was answer enough, so the woman continued “Well, we managed to secure one night of performing, so we decided that hey, since we have a huge stage all to ourselves, let's do the Phantom of the Opera! That's a great idea! People will love it! Well, people _did_ love it... which was the problem. The then manager of the theater was _enamored_ and wanted us to stay permanently. He didn't take the soft 'no' nor the hard 'no' for an answer and was becoming quite insistent not to mention threatening. He even locked the doors so that we couldn't escape negotiations. Suffice to say, it ended badly.”

Cocking his head, the last Hatake inquired “For whom?”

Etsuko cast her eyes in his direction and smirked “Who do you think? Let's just say they had to replace a few windows after that and leave it at that.”

The only windows he could recall needing replacing during that time would be-

Well, apparently they'd jumped through the third story windows. Or climbed. He couldn't be sure. He was also fairly certain that the rather impressive chandelier above the stage had been destroyed. Kazama certainly seemed vengeful enough to have caused that, too. But, no evidence, so... Anko would love this, he was sure. The woman was all about chaos and inconveniencing entitled people.

Trolling Kakashi was her new favourite pastime, Etsuko decided. It was also a test of their acting ability. So far it didn't seem like either Kakashi or Gai was suspecting them of anything. Luckily Akari hadn't tried to escape before they got there, that would have been a huge red flag. She was perfectly capable of getting out of shoddy ropework, and had done so in the past. Now what was in their future was hiding their true nature in the middle of a Shinobi Village. Thankfully, people often saw what they wanted to see. So long as they didn't do anything stupid they were fine.

Besides, it wouldn't last. One day, they'd either slip up, or “slip up” and then the charade would be over. At least partially. And when their Uzumaki heritage came to light, well.

She had some grievances to air out concerning a certain War Hawk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Carriage scene](https://mullk6fics.tumblr.com/image/620296080230334464)


	6. A hint of truth in a sea of misdirection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi the most unreliable narrator. Also, Etsu giving out some truth while saying practically nothing. 
> 
> It's all going according to plan.

They had to make camp, of course they did, traveling at civilian pace here. But anyway, Kakashi noted that at the very least the group was efficient at setting up camp. Rather than setting up tents, they unraveled the tarp that went on the metal structure on the wagon and let the women and the doctor sleep in there while the other three slept on the outside in their sleeping bags. Not a bad system, keeping the-non combatants in an easily defensible place.

(Etsuko, at seeing his expression, ducked inside the now covered wagon and curled up on the floor, trying not to laugh. Because man was he wrong. Fit over, she popped right back out and tried not to look at him again.)

At this point, Kobayashi's role in the troupe was confirmed as the cook when he picked up one of the storage scrolls and chucked it at the elder Yagami and saying “Gimme my stuff.” in admirable deadpan.

'His stuff' was cooking utensils and food, as it turned out. Once it was taken out of the scroll, the man turned to the Konoha duo and asked whether or not he should cook for them too, or if they had their own rations.

Paranoia made him decline and Gai followed suit out of... probably morals. Then again, the man _was_ also a capable shinobi, so it was probably part paranoia, too. You didn't really get this far as a Jounin without some wariness when it came to other people.

Dinner was nice even though the food quality wasn't equal, but the conversation was nice enough, even though it was dominated by Gai and the troupe.

Kakashi did, eventually, get curious enough to ask “So, why Konoha? Are you putting on a show?”

The elder Kazama hummed as she handed her bowl over to Kobayasi for seconds of the really good-smelling stew, before answering “Well, yes and no. We're actually hoping to move in permanently.”

Kakashi raised his brows. There was little doubt of their application going through, what with their overall success, and probable overall value as a business, but he did wonder why they'd want to stay in Konoha rather than a Capital of any of the lands. When he voiced these thoughts, the woman did something akin to a scoff.

“First of all, have you seen the rent in any of the capitals? It's outrageous! ...but it would be nice to have a home again... without a language barrier. At least a significant one, anyway.”

Kakashi raised a brow “Again? Can't you go to your home village?”

The woman hunched in on herself, indicating it was a sore subject. After a moment of silence, she quietly uttered “I was ten when my village was razed.”

Kakashi's visible eye widened. Oh. These things... didn't happen often, but they did happen. He hadn't thought-

Well. He'd certainly stepped in it, now.

Etsuko sighed, straightening up and tipping her head backward, looking at the stars “I don't remember much... but our parents must've hid us from the bandits or whatever, since we survived when no one else did...” she clenched her teeth and shut her eyes tightly before continuing “My sister was _five_ and we had _nothing_.”

Ouch. That explained why seeing the young woman hurt was such a bad experience for the elder of the two. He wondered what reason the others had?

“We had nothing. No parents, no money, no village... no home. We had to survive somehow, so...” the woman trailed off, “I wrote my way out.”

So that was how the Ouroboros got its start. Kakashi could deduce the meaning behind the words quite easily, now that he had context.

“What other way could kids possibly have to make money than to tell stories? It was what we were good at. As we grew older we could do more, had more _to_ do, had more talent. It blew up after that, but all we did, we did out of necessity. All of us are adrift. We've been adrift for perhaps too long, settling down... yeah, it sounds nice...”

Tired. That was what these people were.

That was something Kakashi could relate to.

The younger Jonouchi had pulled a guitar out of somewhere and started to strum it in the silence. Etsuko smiled faintly, swaying with the melody, before opening her mouth.

“[Country road](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1p0eAYJFZk4)~   
Kono michi~ zu~tto~ yukeba~  
Ano machi ni~ tsuzuiteru~ ki ga suru~  
Country road~”

Kakashi turned his eye away from the camp and out into the dark, even as he listened, the lyrics hooking themselves into his mind right beside Etsuko's words. He wouldn't be able to shake them, though he'd pretend he had.

“Country road~  
Ashita wa~ itsumo no boku sa~  
Kaeritai~ kaerenai~ sayonara~  
Country road...”

Looking at the group now, Kakashi couldn't help but wonder if the song-writing hadn't also been a coping mechanism rather than just necessity. Oh well, he was no therapist.

… he _really_ was no therapist, so he'd hold off judgment. It wasn't like his coping mechanisms were... healthy...

He didn't _deserve_ healthy coping mechanisms...

Kakashi was surprised that the troupe would also be taking shifts during the night. Then again, perhaps he shouldn't be, with a samurai being part of the group, but alas.

The singing was obviously a nightly ritual of some sort, partially for practice and partially for upholding morale, Kakashi assumed. Perhaps they did it more while on safer roads, but since they'd been nervous enough to hire an escort, they weren't going to make their job harder. That was nice. And smart. Some clients had made Kakashi want to let them die from their own stupidity, but that looked bad on the report so he hadn't been able to make those fantasies come true.

It was always nice to have agreeable clients.

As the night turned darker, the fire was left to just embers in order to preserve the guards night vision as six out of the civilians went to sleep, the women and doctor inside the wagon, the cook _under_ the wagon and the elder Yagami by the wheels. Himura was on first watch with Kakashi, while Gai went to sleep until his own shift.

The samurai sat against the large tree beside the road, on the ground, in a position that would let him stand up quickly, his sword resting against his right shoulder while being held by his left. All so he could quickly draw the sword once he'd stood up.

It was nice to have clients that could protect themselves, even if it seemed like he was the only one, with the elder Yagami also maybe being able to do some damage, what with his build.

( _Oh, Kakashi, Kakashi, Kakashi, you have no idea..._ )

The ravenette pulled a stopwatch out of his pocket before clicking the button and setting it by his side. Kakashi quirked a brow at that.

The samurai must've known his action was strange, since he started explaining the device “Jono made it, instead of how a normal stopwatch counts time, this one goes by minutes, not seconds, so we can keep track of when an hour has passed. It's how we know when to switch night watchers.”

That made sense. Civilians didn't usually have internal clocks like shinobi did, nor could they necessarily tell time by the movement of the moon in the sky, while it was basic survival training in the academy and a further learned skill in ANBU.

It was a good invention, he supposed. And better than a kitchen timer, since it was almost silent and wouldn't ding once time was up. It wouldn't be a bad training tool, he supposed.

While Kakashi and Gai split the night watch into two, Kakashi estimated that the Ouroboros had split it in three, incorporating only the ones outside the wagon. Convenient, he supposed. Himura and Kobayashi switched while he was still awake and by the time he woke in the morning, he'd been replaced by the elder Yagami. The trio wasn't even bleary-eyed, which was impressive for civilians. They must always use this rotation.

It was a good thing Etsuko couldn't actually read minds, otherwise she would have started rolling on the ground, laughing. As if they used a predictable formula like that. They'd had to change what they usually did due to the fact that they had to not tip off the two outsiders in their midst. As if they'd utilize only three people when there were seven of them.

But that wasn't something they were going to tell anyone as of yet.

They made great progress and as soon as Konoha's gates were just barely in view, the troupe knew there was no turning back. The discount Uzumaki clan, as they were privately calling themselves, were about to set a lot of changes in motion.

But not just yet.

First, they had to acquire citizenship, which would take a while. Especially the civilian way. Luckily, the Civilian Council was very, very greedy, which would work in their favour. No to mention that their theater would be a very big bonus for any genin teams they would employ for D-ranks, which the ninja would very much like, they were sure.

Especially with the somewhat improvised interaction at the gates.

Rina got that face most of them got when they got a seemingly brilliant idea and grabbed her Clan Head by the arm, shaking it “Etsu, Etsu!”

Said woman looked at her strangely, but went along with it “What, what?” she snarked back.

Rina let go with one hand and gestured at the Genin roaming around doing chores “Genin, child-actors! We can _hire them_!”

Everyone in the troupe got the same look on their face and did an excited “Oooh” sound, some of them pointing at Rina as they got it, with Kenji even adding “Ninja-magic, special effects!”

Etsuko meanwhile, fist-pumped “We don't need to use dolls as stand-ins anymore!”

This was all done in harsh whispers, so only the nearest Jounin and Chuunin heard them, but it was enough. They had long since mastered staying in-character anywhere but a completely secured space. It only took one slip-up for things to unravel, after all.


	7. Not adoption but close enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ouroboros start the process of gaining citizenship and confound Kakashi with their logic as he "secretly observes them".

Apparently gaining citizenship in a Shinobi Village took a lot of paperwork, three tests, and a lot of interrogation. Not to mention the waiting time before, in-between and after. The troupe was pretty sure they'd gotten a light and short version due to the prospect of free education in infiltration that they 'inadvertently' brought to the table.

There was nothing inadvertent about it, but they didn't need to know that.

It had been a few decades by now that they'd lived their fake lives, so keeping their stories straight while separated was a breeze. Of course, they weren't so straight that they were parroting the same things, because that would be suspicious. They didn't want suspicions directed at them.

Yet.

They had a plan and they were sticking to it. Of course, the plan had a lot of flow to it and was mostly consisting of checkpoints rather than any linear actions or timelines.

They got through the interrogation without any real hiccups, just having to repeat a few things just so the interrogator could be sure they were telling the truth, like you'd usually have done in a hospital if the interviewer suspected domestic abuse. Which was a rather strange parallel to draw, but alas. They were well off enough to book a few rooms at an inn, but they were all of the opinion that they needed to get dwellings and a building to house their business. Konoha may have a movie theater, but not an actual theater. The movie theater was probably a former proper theater before someone decided to modernize it.

It took a few weeks to find a building big enough that wasn't too close to the seedy part of the Hidden Village, but not too far away either. All money was good, really, so long as the ones paying behaved themselves. Honestly, their Troupe's fame and reputation had much more influence than they'd first assumed, which wasn't a bad thing, especially a few months in, after the renovations were done and the shows were on-going. Not because of anything they did- oh, who were they kidding, it was totally for something they did.

Namely, not confusing a storage scroll for a kunai. Or a jar for its contents. However you wanted to euphemize it, it was due to the one single thing they didn't do.

Abuse a six-year-old.

~

Kakashi lamented that the Ouroboros couldn't keep out of trouble to save their life. Or, he would have, had he not witnessed what started the entire debacle.

Naruto had been thrown out of a grocery store run by an old man that was very stuck in his ways, said man calling the blond a thief even though he had been paying for his groceries. From what he'd seen, the man had even taken the money before doing so, yet not letting the boy even take with him the groceries he'd paid triple for. The ANBU had actually been contemplating murder when he'd spotted her.

The younger Kazama sister was standing in the street, staring at the spectacle, horrified and appalled. She glanced at the name of the store before schooling her expression and walking towards the six-year-old, who had yet to stand up from the ground. Not breaking stride she scooped the child up and headed in the direction of “The Gate Theater”.

Now, normally, Kakashi would have stopped such an occurrence, but miss Akari's body-language held no hostility as soon as she was far enough away from old man Abe, and-

_“My sister was **five** and we had **nothing**.”_

Yeah, that. It wasn't too far-fetched to think that the scene might have dug up some bad memories for the woman. Naruto was small for his age, after all.

Also, Naruto wasn't exactly trying to escape. That might be the shock of someone holding him rather than anything else, but it was a key factor. That did not mean, however, that Kakashi, or rather Hound, was letting them out of his sight.

Which was how he bore witness to the most ridiculous debate he'd seen in a while, and that was saying something, coming from him.

“That's _it_! We're adopting him!” was the first words out of the younger Kazama's mouth when she stepped into the Troupe's establishment. Kakashi had a prime spot in a shadowy corner of the rafters above the stage to observe the reactions to _that_ statement.

The shocked silence and blinking was expected. What followed... less expected.

“Ok, first of all,” the ginger-haired physician piped up, finger extended as he made his point “pretty sure that's against the law for us, currently.”

Well, he wasn't wrong. They weren't fully-fledged citizens yet, so adopting any child, much less the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi, wasn't lawfully possible.

“Second of all,” the man continued, extending a second finger “None of us are married and I doubt anyone here could pull off a fake marriage to each other because... ew.”

...Another good point, single people rarely managed to adopt children in civilian circles, now that he thought about it.

“And third...” Himura butted in, looking at his colleague warily “Why do you look like you're gonna murder somebody?”

“And fourth,” the elder Kazama piped up further “do you need help hiding a body? Because I'm gonna need some forewarning so that we don't get caught.”

… worst part about that last bit? Kakashi had no idea whether she was serious or not.

“Eki-mart is banned, _banned_ I tell you! That horrible little man stole his money and didn't even let him leave with his groceries! And he called him a demon even though he didn't do anything! This is worse than people apparently disliking him for pranks or something and he's obviously only getting food from the forest and _one fucking food-stall_! This is obviously some sort of racism and/or classism! Look at him! He's fucking four what could he have possibly done!?”

Kakashi only understood the flood of quickly spewed out words due to his many years as shinobi. It was amazing what you could learn during D-Ranks. 

The troupe understood it due to many years as her companion, he assumed. Naruto... understood her for reasons unknown, really. Perhaps his hyperactivity helped, he wasn't sure.

The blonde blinked at her before muttering “I'm _six_ 'ttebayo.”

The youngest of the troop looked appalled “That's even _worse_ , Maru!” she pleaded the troupe's cook.

“A'right, a'right, I getcha. We'll feed 'im and then we c'n discuss what ta do.” the surly brunette said in a way that indicated he was defeated, though his softened expression told a different story. It seemed the man had a soft spot for children.

Hound metaphorically sat back and thought the situation over. The group had been in Konoha long enough to witness people treating Naruto differently and name-calling him, so much so that they had noticed the discrepancy and had spoken about it. They had a strong sense of justice which had meant that witnessing this incident was the straw that broke the camel's back. They also knew that adopting him was most likely off the table. They hadn't been there long enough to know about the Kyuubi, but by the time of the next festival, they would. Then came the question of whether they would be told by some idiotic civilian about Naruto's Jinchuuriki status and what would happen afterward. Many people had shown compassion until the boy had introduced himself, so while Kakashi wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt...

He wouldn't hold his breath.

He couldn't interfere or tell them about Naruto's status, which would make it easier for the kid when they eventually stopped being friendly.

Kakashi sighed internally. This was going to become ugly.

~

Kakashi was right. But only partly. He had taken to monitoring the troupe closely even when he wasn't on the Naruto-watching shift. Which was why he was witness to when the troupe realized Naruto's status, though not the way he had thought they would.

The samurai slipped in late one night “So I went to the pub and did some snooping-” the man began, barely into the dining room.

Etsuko groaned “Oh my _god_ , Kenji, you can't just snoop around in a Ninja Village, you'll get us killed!”

The man smirked “Civilian pub, the only ones who can get in trouble are the idiots that went there and ran their mouths, not checking my citizenship status.”

… the man wasn't wrong, so long as he didn't break any laws using said information he had gathered.

The man continued “So, apparently, there's gonna be some demon-hunting on the anniversary of the Kyuubi dying. Which sounded odd to me since, isn't it dead? But then I also remembered that Bijuu are big-ass living masses of chakra, and you can't... exactly... _kill that_.”

Well, the man was surprisingly informed, but it wasn't horribly odd, with the troupe's wandering ways. It wasn't that out there that they had come across all sorts of knowledge, really. He'd heard all kinds of tales about how creative workers found inspiration.

Everyone present had turned towards the swordsman, different levels of frowns on their faces.

“Well, one thing led to another and I found out that the Sandaime made a law that says no one can tell Uzumaki Naruto or anyone around his age about him having the Kyuubi sealed into him.”

The silence that followed his statement was tense, but soon broken by Etsuko “So...” she slowly intoned “let me get this straight...”

Kakashi resigned himself for disappointment.

He was surprised.

“The normal population of this place... is so dumb... that they think a storage scroll magically turns into a kunai once it had been put in there.”

Kakashi stared at the woman. That- that was-

He had no words for the emotions he was feeling. He had underestimated their intelligence. Or perhaps it was due to the fact that they had no trauma attached to the Kyuubi's attack.

“Wait, how do you seal that much chakra into anything? I thought you couldn't seal living things in scrolls?” the female Yagami asked, rubbing her temples.

Maru shrugged “Maybe usin' a p'rson 'nstead o' paper does sumthin'? I'unno, but one-a those tail'd beasts has a helluva lot a ch'kra, wh'ch probably means the kid's seal might just 'xplode an' set free th' thing if things keep goin' the way they are. Which... makes th' Hokage real fuckin' stupid fer not doin' anythin' 'bout th' situation.”

Etsuko groaned and laid face-down on the table “I don't wanna live here anymoooooore...”

Akari had an expression on her face that spoke of distress and disgust “If the Sandaime is this incompetent, do you think someone let the Kyuubi loose on purpose in hopes it would kill the Yondaime? I mean, if the Yondaime was competent enough to seal the Kyuubi, then someone wanting to stay in power would have to kill him and re-instate the inferior leader who never noticed and _still_ hasn't noticed anything amiss.”

Etsuko groaned some more “I wanna go back to the ruins... there are no idiots there... let's go live in the ruins.”

Sigh “Nee-chan...”

Maru deadpanned “We're no' gonna go an' liv' in a graveyard, oh fea'less lead'r.”

Well, that was morbid. And... a very grim outlook on past events.

It shouldn't, but the theory dug its claws into him even as he left. The Sandaime wasn't as on top of things as he thought he was.

After all, he hadn't done anything about Danzo, who had tried to assassinate him. Kakashi hadn't questioned it much, back then, but now...

Now that Minato-sensei might have already been assassinated by the man, he could no longer _not_ question it.

He would keep his observations to himself. There was no need for the Hokage to know that the Ouroboros Theater Troupe was aware of the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki.

It was the man's own fault it had come to this.


	8. Spite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto gets a taste of family and the Ouroboros are fueled by spite and possibly coffee. Spiked coffee.

Naruto loved the Gate Theater! Well, he loved the building, too, but what he _really_ loved were the people who lived there! Sakura had called him stupid, because people don't live in theaters, but the Gate Theater people did! He'd seen their rooms!

He even had a spot to sleep when he wanted, and it was great! He didn't have to be alone at all anymore!

He was pretty sure they didn't all really like him, but they were still nice! That was more than everyone else in the village did! And, and, _and_! They kept calling everyone who was mean to him stupid!

So...

Naruto _loved them_.

Auntie Etsu and auntie Ari especially. Auntie Etsu was badass and auntie Ari was acting like he'd seen other kids moms acting.

Naruto didn't have a mom, but he wondered if he'd had one, if she'd act like auntie Ari did.

Miss Rina didn't really like him much, he didn't think, but she kept tryina teach him how to disguise himself without chakra, and her cousin, whose tinkering room Naruto wasn't allowed in anymore, was trying to teach him about Chakra.

The bigger blond kept telling him he was using too much, and that's why his bunshin were shit, but it was hard!

But he was also saying that he was doing better, so!

Mr Jono was nice about it too, unlike the teachers at the academy.

And best of all, he got to see all the shows for free! Well, he had to help during rehearsals, but he was allowed to watch from his special seat in the rafters! Maru said it was because people were stupid and they'd rather not have riots every time someone spotted him in the audience, plus the rafters were empty so he could see _everything_ , so win-win. He was so short that if someone tall sat in front of him he wouldn't see anything, so he didn't mind. Sure, he'd _like_ it if he could sit with everyone else, but he knew someone would start yelling, and then the night would be ruined for everybody, especially the Gate Theater people. Plus, they even called it _his_ spot! Meaning no one else got to sit there! He had his own designated platform with cushions and everything!

And then-

On October 10th, they asked him to stay inside the theater for the whole night and day, which, ok... he could do that. But-

But... he got a cake.

It had seven candles on it and it said Happy Birthday in orange frosting.

He'd cried, he'd been so happy!

And he'd gotten presents! He'd gotten new clothes that were black and orange, even if the orange looked kinda dark and faded, but it was still orange! Auntie Etsu said that the colour needed to be toned down so that he could sneak better, but he could still wear it if it was so important, but ninja needed to be smart and had to sacrifice things in order to get the job done, whatever job it may be.

Naruto was happy because they were still orange and had his spiral on them, even if the spiral made the Gate Theater people uncomfortable. They wouldn't tell him why, though, just that it wasn't his fault.

They wouldn't tell him _whose_ fault it was, either.

He also got to see another concert! And they made the background orange! They also put the Konoha symbol in the middle and it was really big and black. They'd used a spray can to do it, he could tell. Everyone also put on orange and black make-up and when he asked why, Auntie Etsu had just said “Pettiness.”

Ryuu-sensei had added, “We're being passive-aggressive, don't worry about it, brat.”

Naruto hadn't know what 'passive-aggressive' meant, though... but thankfully Auntie Ari had explained it!

“It's when you're really angry about something and most likely some _one_ , but you don't outright _tell_ anyone you are, but you act like it.”

So Naruto had laid on his stomach in his special box up above everyone else, kicking his feet idly as he waited. He pretended that the concert was for him instead of being a Kyuubi Festival thing, but he knew the Theater made more money on special event stuff like this, so it wasn't too much of a let-down once he couldn't pretend anymore.

What the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki didn't know, was that this technically was for him. It was just that the Ouroboros had reached pretty far on their rope and had to let out their frustrations somehow, which was how this idea came to be.

Kyuubi colours on their set, make-up and clothes, and some pointed songs aimed at the blind populace. They were sure some people would realize exactly what they were doing, most likely Shinobi, but that was fine.

They were angry. They were frustrated at having to pretend to not be Uzumaki while pretending to be Uzumaki in hiding who didn't know Naruto was an actual Uzumaki and thus acting a little strange around him. If they all accepted him, it would only raise questions in the future once their “true heritage” was known. There were so many layers in their deception it made them all a little frustrated, even though they all knew it had to be done.

So here they were, singing about the sins being committed by these ignorant people.

“[Does it make you feel good to make me feel small?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1gyY0X9owA)  
When you're pushing me down, does it make you feel tall?  
Pointing out my flaws cause you wanna erase them all  
Does it make you feel good to make me feel small?

Betcha didn't think I knew what I was made of  
Thought I would lay down  
I wouldn't stand up  
Well listen up cause you got it all wrong  
This is your song, this is your song

I'm not a paper doll  
Can't make me what you want  
You just build me up and tear me down  
Enough's enough  
Go, leave me alone  
Cut me down but I won't fall  
I'm not a paper doll...”

A strange thing about the Elemental Nations was the languages. Unlike the anime, the entire world didn't speak just one language. Japanese was the most used, while English, which was not called that, was originally a Konoha Shinobi code-language, but had become a close-to second language within Konoha and the area around it. This meant almost all Konoha civilians knew it, thankfully. Otherwise, it would have been a little difficult coming up with songs to use.

“[This is to the ones who broke our hearts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcVuhr0_h1w)  
This is to the ones who played a part  
In making our lives a living hell  
This is to the voices in our heads  
This is to the ones who always said  
We wouldn't amount to anything”

“[We can fight the dark](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZgPGMfUVek)  
This is who we are  
There's a new light coming  
Finally had enough  
Finally waking up  
To who we are becoming  
Open your eyes!  
Open your eyes!”

“[Everywhere around you, you find reasons to](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUmdVqHZGFE)  
Turn into a warrior to protect what you believe  
But you think their beliefs make them less than you  
And that is a delusion that your sickness has conceived

Now you spend every day of your life  
Always hoping that something will spark the desire

Now you've become  
Everything you claimed to fight  
Through your need to feel you're right  
You're the savior of nothing now

Now you've become  
Everything you claimed to fight  
Through your need to feel you're right  
You're the savior of nothing now  
You've become  
Everything you claimed to fight  
Through your need to feel you're right  
You're the savior of nothing now”

Yeah. They were bitter. But they had no power yet.

“[So could you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJkj3DgW8Y0)  
Tell me how you're sleeping easy  
How you're only thinking of yourself  
Show me how you justify  
Telling all your lies like second nature  
Listen, mark my words, one day (one day)  
You will pay, you will pay  
Karma's gonna come collect your debt

Maybe you'll change, abandon all your wicked ways  
Make amends and start anew again  
Maybe you'll see all the wrongs you did to me  
And start all over, start all over again

Who am I kidding? Now, let's not get overzealous here  
You've always been a huge piece of shit  
If I could kill you, I would, but it's frowned upon in all fifty states  
Having said that, burn in hell!”

“[...You preach about love and teach about faith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRFCMM3bra8)  
But all your beliefs are still rooted in hate

Crosses still burn, axes still fall  
And down on your knees, you just don't look so tall  
Crosses still burn, axes still fall  
And down on your knees, you just don't look so tall”

Etsu opened her eyes, not being able to find anyone to look in the eye, but forming a fierce look on her face anyway

“Down on your knees, you don't look so tall.  
Open your eyes and the empire falls!”

She didn't stay to bow, rather she just spun around and walked off the stage. Perhaps they wouldn't make much of an impact at the moment, but quoting the lyrics at people while they did bad things... well... that was a different matter entirely.

The concert had been pretty late into the night, so it was no wonder, really, that Naruto was getting tired an hour later, causing Akari to pick him up and take him to his room, up in the attic where there was a hatch that took you to the roof. It was a safe space and mostly inaccessible to civilians due to the entrance, either one, not being all that visible. Shinobi, though? Yeah, easy to spot.

Laying the blonde in his bed, Akari sat beside him for a moment after tucking him in. Pretending not to know his parentage, pretending to pretend not being Uzumaki, it was taking its toll on them all. They'd have to hold a meeting soon, about what they should do next. Whether they should start unraveling their outer level of disguise before or after Naruto graduated the academy, or perhaps right before he did so. They wouldn't begin before they were full citizens, so at least a year more or so, but how much longer after that...

Well, it would also depend on how much they could get Naruto to act the way they needed him to act, needing to lure the Hokage to their theater during the correct performance. Naruto had already started humming a few songs he really liked, which was a step in the right direction.

Humming under her breath, the younger sister of the current Uzumaki Clan Head picked up the snowglobe music box Jonas had painstakingly crafted, twisting the knob until it started playing. She had learned a while ago that even if the kid seemed asleep, he would wake up sooner or later unless you sang for him.

It was perhaps a bit risky to sing in any of the languages that had been spoken in Uzushio, but just being from around Nami no Kuni would give enough explanation for now... though it had explained, just a little, why they specifically had appeared upon the seal. Perhaps this world was merely _based_ upon the original series, they couldn't be sure, but it seemed similar enough to those of them that had watched or read it, so it didn't matter much in the long run.

“ _[Lapsistain rakkain tää näyttämö on](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TNrEaxVzaU)  
[Mis kuutamo kujillaan kulkee](https://lyricstranslate.com/en/taikatalvi-enchanted-winter.html?t=1324949407#ixzz31H6Koiot)  
Taipunut havu, kesä hoivassa sen  
Valkomeren niin aavan  
Joka aavekuun siivin  
Saapuu mut kotiin noutamaan_”

If someone was watching, they would immediately notice the use of a foreign language. Depending on their age, they might even recognize one of the original languages of Uzushio. Hell, they might even be able to translate what she was singing, but-

And this was far more likely-

They might write it down, most likely incorrectly, and give it to Jiraiya to translate/decode.

And if they did that-

Well...

Akari smiled as she stopped singing, the music box growing silent not long after “ _Hyvää syntymäpäivää._ ”

It could be a long time before anyone realized what she had said.

And even then, well...

It wasn't like she'd said anything incriminating. It was only the choice of language that was sketchy, and even then-

Well, there wasn't much to go on.

How she'd like to see Jiraiya tear his hair out...

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr for my fanfic rambles and my artwork for my fanfics: <https://mullk6fics.tumblr.com/>
> 
> [Carriage scene](https://mullk6fics.tumblr.com/image/620296080230334464)
> 
> Edwina = Kazama Etsuko  
> Alexia = Kazama Akari  
> Lisa = Yagami Rina  
> Jonas = Yagami Jonouchi  
> Leo = Gokudera Ryuu  
> Marcus = Kobayashi Maru  
> Jim = Himura Kenji
> 
> Someone asked for it, so I'm going to put the character profiles of the Ouroboros here. Fair warning, this is copypasted from the One Piece series, so it makes only marginally sense.  
> Edwina, brunette, light brown eyes, 165 cm.  
> Freerunning, parkour, gymnast, krav maga.  
> Captain
> 
> Alexia, brunette, hazel eyes, 150 cm, slim.  
> Kickboxing, parkour, gymnast and aikido.  
> First Mate.
> 
> Lisa Blond, blue eyes, 175 cm.  
> Amateur gymnast, swimmer.  
> Sniper.
> 
> Jim, ravenette, blue eyes, 170 cm, muscled.  
> Karate (black belt), freerunning, kendo and judo.  
> Swordsman.
> 
> Jonas, blond, green eyes, 200 cm, wide & muscled.  
> Streetfighter, rock-climber.  
> Inventor.
> 
> Leo, ginger, dark brown eyes, 172 cm, slim swimmer's build.  
> Judo, swimmer, runner.  
> Doctor.
> 
> Marcus, light brown hair, hazel eyes, 171 cm, runner's build.  
> Best swimmer and diver among the crew, parkour, runner.  
> Cook.  
>  **Everyone is a shinobi. They're hiding. I thought that was obvious.**
> 
> Because some fucking people can't take into consideration the spirit of my last version, LET ME BE FUCKING LITERAL THEN
> 
> DO NOT beg/ask/demand updates of me. It won't help, in fact, it will make me not update for even fucking longer.  
> DO NOT ask ABOUT updates either. Doing so has the same fucking effect, me not updating.  
> Doing any one of these things ANYWAY will have the effect of me cussing you out, hating you and everything you stand for, and deleting your comment and any that follow.  
> DO NOT tell me I should be flattered by people essentially asking me to do unpaid slave labour for their own entertainment, with no regard to my own mental health.
> 
> I would appreciate it if my comment sections were kept to being a happy place. A stress-free zone. A place I can visit to gather energy in hopes that it will help me write.
> 
> If you don't know what else to say when the things above are said to be taboo, emoji hearts are a good way to do so. No one can misinterpret emoji hearts. The things above can be misinterpreted. Don't do them.  
> Another way is to comment "I can't wait to see what happens next!"
> 
> Honestly, please don't even mention people doing this, or the word Update. It stresses me the fuck out and I have enough issues without people reminding me of the bad stuff.
> 
> Please, for the love of god don't make my bad days worse and ruin my good days, few as they are.


End file.
